You know, all this time with dealing with how I handled the situation with Derek, I think I focused on the wrong thing. That is why I am feeling so bad about how I handled it.
Its not about me.I cut myself off from him and after I did that I was telling everyone "I did this so I can get better and so I can move on." Which I don't think is necessarily bad but that's not the most important thing to say or focus on! We need to say
"God, I did this for you!"When I say I did it for me, I am putting my wants first and our wants are always so fickle and they change all of the time but God is constant. He is never changing and he is always here for us. This is what I always said:
"God, I thought I was doing this to help me but its hurting me and I feel bad and I feel guilty."Did you notice that I referenced myself 6 times? and only God once?
How selfish? My desires in myself need to be focused on the one that is most important and that is our heavenly Father.