Friday, February 24, 2012
What should I do?!
I don't know what to do. This whole school thing is really taking a toll on me. I like the fact that I have a chance to learn things even though it seems like I am not. Like you would expect, I am only learning stuff that involves music. I have picked up stuff in all of my classes but not enough to really excel in them. I had my economics exam that I thought I new the information and did decant on the exam BUT I got a D . . . are you kidding me?! I have studied harder then I have ever done in my life this semester and all I have to show for is a D?! Man, I hate that. I feel so stupid for even trying! As I am crying, I really don't see myself being a college girl. I never have and I don't think I will never see the day i graduate from a 4 year college. And its all not just academics. Its the social aspect too! I hope this will go away but if I get my other 2 exam grades back and I bombed them like my economics test, I don't know what I'm going to do! This has never really entered my mind before BUT lately it has. I know I would not make any rash decisions because of multiple reasons but here is whats been on my mind. . . CALIFORNIA. For the past week, every morning I have woke up thinking about California and every night the last thought is California (and of course music haha). I don't know why! I want to move there more than Tennessee . . . Didn't think I would ever say that! Anyway, I have been praying about it and even though I am in a rut with God, pray is really the only place I can run to. I want God to allow is purpose in my life to shine though and if the opportunity ever comes up to live there . . . I am going to take it! I miss working at Kohls. I think I liked it there because I just did so well and I enjoyed it there! I don't know why I am feeling like this but I'm going to let all that marinate and let it go where it goes. Maybe . . . Actually, I am not going to say it yet lol All I know is that I am doubting this college thing. Prayers, Advice, Suggestions anyone?!?!